snow/ski jokes | Forum | Niseko, Hirafu, Kutchan

digglar 2008-11-02 18:50:07

how many snowboarders does it take to screw in a light bulb? 3- one to screw it in, one to film it and one to say "sick,dude" how many ski instructors? 1- he just let the world revolve around him whats the difference between a snowboard instructor and a student? three days why do you always invite two Niseko business owners to your party? if you invite one they`ll smoke all your weed, invite two and they won`t smoke any. any more?

Hado (2008-11-03 11:54:55)

Whats the difference between a pizza and a ski instructor?

A pizza can feed a family of four.

Hado (2008-11-03 11:56:33)

What is the last thing a snowboarder ever says?

"Dude, watch this"

Hado (2008-11-03 11:58:10)

How do you get the ski instructor off of your front porch?

Pay for the pizza.

Hado (2008-11-03 11:58:51)

What do you call a successful ski instructor?

A guy who's girlfriend has two jobs.

Hado (2008-11-03 12:00:08)

Why do Ski instructors always wear red?

So you wont hit them when they hitchhike.

Hado (2008-11-03 12:01:14)

What do ski instructors do after the lifts close?

Go to work.

Hado (2008-11-03 12:01:44)

You're at a party with 100 people. How can you tell which one is the ski instructor?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

Hado (2008-11-03 12:02:59)

How do snowboard instructors introduce themselves?

Dude, I am soooooo sorry!

Hado (2008-11-03 12:04:35)

What does a snowboard instructor use for protection during sex?

A bus shelter.

Hado (2008-11-03 12:09:42)

Whats the differnce between a snowboard and a vacuum?

Where you attach the dirtbag.

Gtrain (2008-11-03 12:54:19)

What did the ski instructor say to the student in June?

Did you want fries with that?

Pow!!! (2008-11-05 00:13:39)

Last season in Utah. Conditions were nice, but it was cold, minus 15, no feeling in the toes, basic numbness all over.

One of the ladies in my entourage had to relieve herself. I thought there was a bathroom nearer the peak, but I was wrong. She "couldn't hold it" or whatever and headed for the tree line.

Steep slopes are unforgiving and suddenly she found herself sliding backwards, out-of-control, racing through the trees, somehow missing all of them, and into another slope. Her ass and all were just stickin' out, her pants down around her knees and she was picking up mad speed.

The woman finally collided violently with a pylon. She busted her arm and was unable to pull up her ski pants. At long last the ski patrol arrived, put an end to her nudie freak show (all the people on the lift got premium views), and arranged transportation to the hospital.

In the emergency room, she was just getting over the embarassment. A dude with an obviously broken leg was put in the bed next to hers. "So, how'd you break your leg?" she asked, trying to make small talk.

"It was the craziest thing I ever saw," he said. "I was riding up this ski lift, and suddenly there was this hot naked chick in the snow, exposing herself to me. She was bent over with her pants around her knees. I leaned over to get a better look and I guess I didn't realize how far I'd moved. I fell out of the lift."

"So how'd you break your arm?"

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